Consultation

Monday, November 26 - Reality finally struck home after my college age daughter headed back to college, the teenager headed back to high school, and my husband left for work.  I had taken the day off so that I could take my Mom to the consultation with the Oncologist.  We were to discuss the results of all of the testing and plan for the course of treatment ahead.   I was getting ready alone at home and the tears finally started flowing.  I cried and cried.  I couldn't stop crying.  I called my husband who couldn't understand my babbling on the phone but explained to me that this was bound to happen and I just needed to cry and get it out before I picked up my Mom.                                                                             

Isn't it funny how strong a Mom can be in front of her kids.  I  finally appreciated all of the strength my own Mom had always shown.  I had rarely witnessed her breaking down as I was at this moment. Yet, she had endured so much to raise my sister and I alone.  Thinking of this just made me cry harder. Luckily I had plenty of time to get ready, and thank goodness the girls were not there to see me.  They had had their moments of non-stop tears over the Thanksgiving holiday where I would sit with them and hold them and soothe them as they cried.  Now, it was my turn.  I managed to get myself together in time to pick my Mom up. Once again I found the strength from somewhere to face the day.  I was ready for the Oncologist to give us the news.  I felt ready to deal with it whatever it might be.  I knew I would have to be strong for my Mom's sake.

The Bad news:  Invasive Ductal Carcinoma  the Cancer had reached the lymph nodes under the arm but there was no way of knowing how many lymph nodes until after the chemotherapy.  The doctor would know this after doing the mastectomy.

The Good News:  The Cancer had not spread to any other organs and was not detected in the bones.

I believe this was a true blessing.  I had anticipated the Cancer to have spread much more extensively.  I found in relief in the prognosis the doctor gave my Mom.  The Chemotherapy would be given 1x per week for 12 weeks along with two other medications at different weekly intervals.  The Mastectomy would follow the Chemotherapy when the doctors were sure they had stopped the spreading and contained the cancerous cells.  Radiation would follow this.  It was going to be a long road, but there was hope.  This was something we could face. 

 I got copies of all of the results including numbers on acronyms that I knew nothing about, but have never had the heart to look up all of these details.  I have hope now and I need to keep it.  Worrying will not help my Mom.  She is relying on my Sister and I to be strong now when she needs us.  I will be just as strong for her as she has always been for me.  I have had a great role-model.